Thursday, July 07, 2005

My country 'tis of thee

According to this article in HaAretz, 500,000 American Jews could immigrate to Israel in the next 15 years. Obviously, this would have dramatic implications for life here in Israel.

Here are my top ten predictions for how life will change:

  1. On the bills and coins will actually be printed, "In God We Trust"
  2. Monday will become the most dreaded day of the week
  3. Knitting clubs will become popular to utilize all the time freed up from the cancellation of movie intermissions
  4. Instead of multiparty political chaos - two party gridlock
  5. IDT will replace Bezeq as the national phone carrier, but will be forced to open call centers in Los Angeles to find Hebrew speakers
  6. Yoni Leibowitz will become Israel's most popular talk show host (no more "Jon Stewart" for him!)
  7. Difficult to pronounce "resh" will be replaced by the new letter "thoth"
  8. Football = Football
  9. Coca-Cola will be the most popular soft-drink (uh, wait...)
  10. 24 Hour Weather Channel hosted exclusively by Robert Olinsky